Epic Rap Battles Of TEA History (Actaully Good Now)
by ZEpicTeam
Summary: Dis Raps for TEA
1. Zim vs Kenny vs Oronture vs Ozone vs X

**Invader Zim: **

Cool mustache, Kenio

Try messing with the mad 'vader, you'll be sorry, yo

How many bots does it take

To turn an empire into a union of ruinous planets?

It's a disgrace what you did to your own army

Yo virus beat you like a bot and now you're evil!

You're from Earth, sweet Earth

And history holograms unfold ya

As a messed up dictator bent in the mind

Who built a superteam, but he paid the price

With the endless destruction of KennyBot lives

If you're the leader of Mithril, I spit lava!

Big PAK mystic, known to sway teams

I can end you with a whisper to your bots.

**Kenny**:

Look into my eyes, you perverted bug

See the soul of the man who made the Bounty Hunt3r his rug!

You think I give a fuck about my team?

My own general got locked up in prison, and I didn't save his life!

You got off easy when they vestimicized that moose cock

I'll leave your neck chains in a trench and shot

Your whole army, shot! All your Irken friends, shot!

Anyone who sold you materials, shot!

Bore you for days till you waste away

I even crushed Bryan when I was laid in state

Pride of Oronture, took Wiltson out of the picture

Dropped an army on you harder than I bitch-slapped Ozone

**Oronture**:

I have no pride for you

Who ruined everything my 'Verse was doing

To stop the Stereotyping

I fought the bondage of alliances. The freed masses

Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!

Let me start with you there, Caveman!

Looking like something out of George Lucas!

It's rip-rap soup, green over purple

Cause the Tallest's army can't do shit tonight

And Kenny, you were supposed to be my right-hand man

But your loyalty shriveled up when Ozone became your right hand, man!

Our whole future was bright! You let your heart grow dark

And stopped the greatest revolution since the Alliance of Space Nations!

**Ozone**:

(Knock Knock Knock Knock)

Did somebody say space nations?

Yo, I'm the team with the most glasnost

You assholes made a mess and the war got cold

Shook hands with both leaders, Zim and Kenny, no doubt

If you have lots of power, time to get out!

I have the balls to let RK enforce, player!

Burnt down that wall like the Human Torch, oh yeah!

You two need help. You need more help.

And you all need to learn how to handle dark power!

**Xagvin**:

Did somebody say dark power?

Дa, you want to mess with me

I spit hot budder when I'm crushing these rhymes

Blow it up like an elf forest, while I'm balling in Peggy's Cuba

Doing Sith moves and schooling every Alliance сука

I'm a leader in my prime, my enemies don't distract me

The last team who attacked me got away a half-team, so idiots, come at me!

You don't know what you're doing, when you try to bust a rap against a mind like Xagvin

You'll find that the ex-TEAL is the best RAPPER in the ex-EAOT!


	2. Wilson vs Crimson

**Wilson  
**Whats wrong with your team baby,  
Yikes!  
With those men when you through there'll be no men left to quit  
Christ newsflash, kid this is dog eat dog  
Show some class when you fight  
Shave that dagger off your list  
BOOM!  
Your teams named CR industries Huh?  
Ain't that sweet  
You fight like you rode a bicycle race with no seat  
Thats whats wrong with you people you'll do anything to get noticed  
You changed your name to Crimson you should've been Uranus

**Crimson**  
You think I haven't heard those things before  
Your just a bully whos too scared to do a war'  
You had a hit battle called Midway  
but ZET fought it  
Your the least talented rat in your whole pack of rodents  
You've got four feet in your whole range  
You cant fight and you cant talk  
Im more powerful than you when im down in R5  
Why do you stand there in a mech  
Its like your trying to bore me  
When I rock the TEA Morgoth gets terrified  
Because my team has balls  
We sing the anthems of victory  
Your team is like the soundtrack to a vasectomy  
Your in the pocket of Zeltrax and everybody knows it  
Guinea Dago  
Guinea Dago?  
Guinea Dago Figaro

**Wilson**  
Easy jaws of death I cant stand a racist  
I love the weaks and the idoits just ask Devin  
Look we all wanna swing baby but you took it too far  
youve played 13 girls roulette and you lost the draw

**Crimson**  
I took one for Both teams from enemy no one knew existed  
I didn't leave a mark on TEA history i changed it  
Im a champion of the 'Verse extinguished in my prime  
So kiss my ass Willy but you'll have to wait in line.


	3. Crimson VS LOD and Wilson

**Crimson:** LOD... This is your last chance... Battle me... or die...

**LOD: *bursts out laughing***

**Crimson:** Screw you, you big dark dick!

I'll shoot your balls and your face! A war on two fronts!

This Underdog will crush the Dark Side! Like a rap Apartheid!

I put the CR in Screwjob! I'm sick of this guy!

I beat you twice, you sellout, now you bow down to TEA Rules

You call yourself a Dark Lord? You couldn't even conquer P-X!

You're just a sad, forever alone moron who needs R5-ing

**Lord of Darkness: **Let me paint you a picture, son

Portrait of a bitch after TEA War I

You were stirring up a fears of the small and weak

Tellin' the world that the ZET was evil

You wrote a little book, got'em fired up

Had a traitory, got'em fired up

When your girlfriend started getting fired up

You put a gun in her mouth and fired up!

You dumb mother fucker, didn't Kenny let you know

When you conquer Naboo, better pack some fucking armored clothes!

While you're fighting off Harry

I got a million clones, they die for me

My inferiors ride for me

Yo homeboy, finish this rhyme for me!

**Wilson: **They call me Wilson, you wanna mess with me?

I'll put my balls in your mouth like gulf tea

I got a mech suit, yo, you know I destroy the show!

Cause when I rock a microphone- *Crimson shoots him*

**Crimson: **Ah, hell no!

You're not going to cheat me, Mister Darkness All the Time!

I'll take you and your new boyfriend Terra and all your useless soldier guys!

And throw you all in a butthole in the sand!

I am Crimson *gets cut in half* Azura!


End file.
